Sadly, you know, that's a misunderstanding of God's love and perhaps it could be a good thing that our churches' doors are open now to people who have a lot of pain in their life, and we have a great opportunity.īob: You come at this subject as a counselor, and as one who has studied and who leads a program to help people through this, but you also come through the door of having been a victim. Nancy: No, there is not, and I see that as good news and bad news. It seems to be as prevalent in the church as it does in the secular community.īob: There's not a difference? There's not a lower percentage in the body of Christ? But evidently tenderizing his heart, because, to the best of my knowledge, he never laid another hand on his wife for the rest of his days.Īnd what I didn't realize was that I was getting a glimpse, Nancy, of what was back then and has now become a major issue, even in the Christian community – spousal abuse exists in the church big time, right? Not in a car – while he was walking across some railroad tracks, a locomotive hit him, knocked him 20, 30 feet in the air, and he landed on his backside, ripping out his britches. Within two days he was physically hit by a train, by a locomotive. But I looked at him, and I said, "You know what? If you continue to deal wrongly with your wife by physically abusing her, God is going to deal with you." He was probably 210, 220, a weight lifter. This was one of these God moments, where I looked him in the eye – this guy was a body builder. This is foreign to me." And, Dan, you'll appreciate this, as a counselor, because you and I go way back. And I remember looking at this guy, I remember thinking, "This is something I don't have any context to be able to understand. And he was hitting her in certain places in the summer where it wouldn't show, and then different places in the winter.ĭennis: Absolutely. He was a Sunday school teacher, and he was at church on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Monday night visitation, Wednesday night prayer meeting, and the other three or four nights a week he was abusing her. I was starting the ministry, I was very young, they were older than me, but here was their story. Bob the builder scoop how to#You know, it's interesting, as we come to this subject, one of the first couples I counseled back when FamilyLife started in 1976, was that of a man who was abusing his wife, and I'll never forget this, because I didn't know how to deal with it. Nancy: Such as trauma and chemical addiction.ĭennis: That's right. Nancy Murphy gives leadership to the Northwest FamilyLife Learning and Counseling Center, which is a Seattle-based nonprofit agency that is – well, you really exist – not only help those affected by domestic violence but also related issues, right? Dan Allender is the president of Mars Hill Graduate School in Seattle, Washington. Nancy: Mm-hm, I thank you for addressing this topic.ĭennis: Dr. Dan Allender and Nancy Murphy join us in the studio – Nancy, Dan, welcome to FamilyLife Today. We are going to talk about the subject of domestic violence and abuse, and to help us deal with this subject, Dr. We're going to be tackling a troubling and challenging subject over the next couple of days, Dennis.ĭennis: We are. What happened on Nancy Murphy's honeymoon left her confused and wondering – how do I respond?Īnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. It was with a clenched fist in the face as hard as he could, and it was just one blow after another after another.īob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, June 23rd. I need to go have a walk with the Lord, and I'll be right back." He came after me, and he said, "How come you left the room?" And I said, "I had this really bad dream, and I just wanted to" – and then all of a sudden I got smacked, and that was my first time. I'm just going to go on the beach, and I'll be right back." And I heard him say in a menacing tone I'd never heard before, "You're not going anywhere." And I looked at him, and he was still half asleep, and I said, "No, I just had a bad dream. The third morning I woke up, and I'd had a bad dream, so I said, "Hey, I'll be right back. Nancy: We were on a deserted island, and we had been dropped off on this place that I had loved all of my life, and so here is Mike and I alone on our honeymoon in somebody else's home. For Nancy Murphy, her honeymoon was the beginning of a 10-year nightmare. Bob: A honeymoon is supposed to be a time of celebration for a new husband and his wife.
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